Me Slow

a notice to all friends having important personal announcements:

i'm dense. i'm a.d.d. please don't mess with my head. if you have important news such as i'm having a kid, please call and say, "sauj, i'm preggers." or email with the FIRST line saying "sauj, i'm gonna pop out a junior" in large font, capital letters, and flashing neon lights.

do not write nonchalantly about how your boss has b.o. in the same email.
do not write about opening a cookie store.
and definitely do not start the last last sentence with "oh yeah, by the way, i forgot to mention..."

i miss messages like this. or i think it's a joke. and when you call me 11 days after the original message and say, "okay, i'm serious," i can only say "I HATE YOU" and not squeal a high-pitched "congrats" as a nice girly girl like myself normally would, SANDY.

but hey, it's been a few hours: "eeeeeeeeek! congrats dorkus." good thing the kid will have auntie pia to negate out the retarded influences that aunties crystal and sauj will strive to be. i need to strategize now to outdo crystal's run-of-the-mill fit-an-apple-in-your-mouth routine.