Ha!

here's a note from my trusted source of info. like bo, "kev knows." here is the encyclopedia himself:

"No, there is something wrong here. Unless midwestern catholics are somehow classified as asian, the silverware-on-stemware tradition is very much American. Wikipedia (the world's most dubious authority) agrees with me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_traditions"

ha take that! though i hear midwestern catholics are wanna-be asians. another tradition is to throw rice right? that screams fob influence. :)

Info Alert

i was at mike and becky's wedding this weekend and learned something incredibly fascinating. a wedding tradition that i always thought was american, turned out to be...not. let me recreate this mind-blowing conversation for you. i am THAT generous.

polly (derek's wifey): "you know at weddings when you cling the glasses and the couple has to kiss?"
laura and me: "yeah, totally."
polly: "is that an asian or an american thing?"
the asians (derek, laura, and me): "american!"
polly: "i don't think so. ask the others at the table."

me to dylan (sitting next to me): "you know when you cling the glasses at weddings and the couple has to kiss? that's an american thing, right?"
dylan: "um, what? never heard that before."
me (smacking him on the arm): "don't lie!"
derek: "maybe he's too young. ask jaime."

me to rest of table who happen to be white / "american": "what does it mean when people cling glasses at weddings?"
jaime (while others nod in agreement): "someone's about to give a toast."
me: "the couple doesn't have to kiss??!?!"
others: "no. never heard that before."

polly: "see?!?!?!?"
the other dumb-founded asians: "weird."
me to dylan: "sorry i hit you."

see? aren't you glad you spent the last minute reading my rendition of this fascinating conversation? oh, here's a pix of the lovely newlyweds. (and akosa, not that you read this, but biting someone's forearm and leaving teethmarks = not any wedding tradition i've heard of either. it still hurts!)



















random shoutout:
willets - can't wait to have you in the best coast. sun, surf, smog, and traffic eagerly await your arrival.

They Called Me CF

back in '99, some of my college buddies and i spent a summer in ann arbor. we spent most weekends camping, swimming in lakes, crossing the border to windsor (go canada's drinking age!), visiting motown museums, and more. towards the end of the summer, we were headed on a small road trip to ohio to see an offspring concert. in the drive over, misty was showing off her newly-developed pictures:

misty to kevin: "hey, look! isn't that a fun picture of me and sauj?"

this picture, similar to the last one in my last blog entry, was one of those flip your camera around, stick your arm out and take a funny picture with you and your friend kind of picture. except we were doubly funny as misty and i were making these blowfish faces.

kevin: "haha. sauj, it looks like someone drew your face with a compass!"
me (being sensitive about my very round face): "um, not funny dude."
misty: "hahaha! sauj, you're compass face!"

so. why was i reminded of this not-so-entertaining story?















well, at least my granny tells me that my face...is round...and bright...like the moon. hmm, come to think of it, maybe it's time i consider a post-mba workout plan.

10 Anos

it's been 10 years to the day that my fellow nitros (don't ask -- our high school mascot was a dynamite stick) and i graduated from ghs. though our reunion isn't until the fall, i assume that most of us have accomplished a lot in this period of time. i frequently hear of news like, "did you know such and such had her second kid?" or "so and so just opened a law firm in pasadena" and feel proud of the fact all the gtown hooligans are all making something of their lives.

so, what did the last 10 years bring me? a fancy gown, a hood, a lei from tina (she really wanted to say "i got you a lay"), and a very tasty can of coke.















oh, and some awesome amigos (i.e. new set of hooligans to keep track of). yeah, the mba thing was definitely worth it.

Sauj Math

after you go on a 6 month hiatus from drinking and then suddenly, you decide to have a wham bam thank you ma'am rockstar weekend in vegas, what does your body do? reject living for a while. even though my headache went away post-alka selzter (i love you!), my tummy is still nauseous and my body is sore. okay, so the sore part is not from the drinking but from my out-of-shape lazy ass self trying to put together some sexy-only-to-yourself-when-your-drunk dance moves for two straight nights. but you get the point. me = hurtin'.

so, to demonstrate my retarded drunkenness, let me tell you how i lose money in style in vegas. here's me at the hard rock single deck blackjack table.

episode 1
dealer named kim who has worked in casinos for 18 years even though her plan was to take a one-year break before applying to law school (showing a mother f'in king): "yes?"
me (holding a 6 and an 8): "hit please."
kim: "a 9."
me (sliding my cards face down): "cool."
(kim finishes dealing. she shows a 17.)
kim: "um, you can flip your cards over when you bust."
me: "huh? i had good cards!"
kim: "you have 23."
nora chimes in from the peanut gallery: "can you believe she went to mit?"
me: "hey! don't you have mit alums in some blackball list in casinos?"
kim: "i highly doubt you are on it."

episode 2 (two deals later)
me (holding a 5 and an ace): "hit please"
kim: "4."
me: "hit please"
kim: "Q"
me: "yay!"
(kim finsihes dealing. she shows 18.)
me: "go me. i win, i had a 20!"
kim: "um, yeah, you had 20 TWICE. you can really stop the first time you get it."

i know i make my alma mater proud. me and my retarded, aging, weak sauce, drunk, card shark, dancing machine self. thanks vegas!

Fobs

before heading to our dis-orientation in vegas, i thought i'd post a picture of our fob team. few of you have asked, who the f are all these people you keep talking (sh*t) about? here they are. haha. :)

An Addendum

oh, last week sometime, i actually looked at the back of that "horny" shot glass that my mom uses for the family dining table's carnation vase.

from the bottom is says:

2 oz. - cold as ice
4 oz. - getting a headache
6 oz. - maybe a quickie
8 oz. - horny as hell!!!

this only has to happen in a fobby family, right? yeah, that's right, i said the f word.

More Nerd Careers

oh phew. something for the girls too on the mit list. i'm offended. but then again, i'm jobless right now...hmm.

WAIT, but i full on admit i love celebrity gossip (who can't stop reading about paris' night in jail?). oh well.

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Casting Females With Brains ASAP!!! Please Forward.

Are you tired of turning on the TV and watching the same cookie-cutter girls over and over again?

Do you love math, science, computers, comic books, or games that require thinking?

Is fashion and style low on your list of priorities?

Are you a girl who is all brains and couldn't care less about celebrity gossip?

Is it difficult to find a good guy?

A Major Television Network wants you for a show shooting for 6 weeks this summer!

Please send us an e-mail telling us about yourself along with a current picture and a contact number ASAP!

Come on girls! Let's level the playing field!

If you fit the bill we will need you to audition this week!

Nerd Career

only on the mit alum list do you get the following announcement. what? shouldn't they be looking for the beauties on our list? haha.

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The CW Network's breakout hit reality show BEAUTY AND THE GEEK is casting for season four in the LOS ANGELES AREA

Produced by Ashton Kutcher and Jason Goldberg ("Punk'd"), BEAUTY AND THE GEEK pairs gorgeous but academically impaired women with brilliant but socially challenged men to test intellect and social skills. This cycle will remain true to the series' format, pairing the women with the men for a chance to win up to $250, 000 cash prize.

ARE YOU A GEEK AND WANT TO HELP A BEAUTY?

We are currently seeking...

• Intellectually endowed but socially inept men who can turn a shopper into a scholar

• Beauties and Geeks willing to work together and compete for the opportunity to win a substantial cash prize!!