Carmen Saujin-eggo

okay kids. way too many questions about auntie sauj's whereabouts. you little curious georges!

i am currently in the middle of the canadian rockies, sprawled out on my hotel bed (clothed and alone you sickos) flipping between food tv (jamie deen had his first kid? didn't even know my man was married!) and canadian idol (seriously), and on my bb writing about nothing important as usual.

the scenery is beautiful here. and i hear that my drive from jasper to banff tomorrow will be one of the highlights of this area and i am totally looking forward to it.

so, i am doing this part of the trip with a korean tour company and it's exactly what i envisioned. the bus is full of young families and old couples from korea and i have quickly become the tour guide sidekick. i am translating signs and menus for them while dodging questions about how I can possibly be single at the age of 27.

i tried to make up this elaborate story about how i was trying to be a singing nun (sister act-style) but got kicked out of the convent because i couldn't actually carry a tune. but the story was quickly foiled when one grandma recognized me from my hometown church. I got grilled on why i don't go to church anymore and then...everyone agreed that is the actual reason why i am single and that i must attend church immediately to remedy my singleness and find myself a hubby approve by big g.

ahha! so simple. and this whole time i thought church was for sissies.

My "Bday"

on my way to "mystery city" and was checking my vm...and got a message from a friend (I couldn't understand the name though...who are you? my fraud wo-man?): "...just wanted to wish you a happy birthday." huh? didn't know it was my bday but a 7 year old kid from korea sitting next to me just gave me his comic books, so hey, it might as well be my bday.

Summer Edition Prologue

katie just asked me to try emailing in an entry through the blogger email address...and it worked. maybe you won't be without me for two weeks. the entry looked like this:

Testing For Katie

1 2 3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

wow. nerd heaven right here. tech people rule my world.

Upcoming MIAness

you are currently reading the summer season finale of "days of our sauj." today is my last summer intern day, and sadly or fortunately (if you are tina), i have to take a little vacay from the bloggin' for a week or two.

so, now you're wondering, "where's she going?" you see, in normal circumstances, i would have raved about my upcoming trip...oh, the things i'm so excited to see. but after my recent fraud events, i've become a bit paranoid. i'm paying cash for stuff. i'm ripping up my trash one or two more times (i think i'll go get a shredder later today). i mean, i haven't even greeted anyone with the sauj-signature "what's up man" hug in the last few days! stay away from me, people! just kidding.

well, i will tell you one thing about my trip. a portion of it includes an organized tour with a korean tour company, and i think it's going to be hilarious...hanging with middle-aged couples, random grannies, and kids. so, to prepare, i've acquired yet another fobby visor and a fanny pack / toolbelt. my goal is to blend in...

so, as i venture off and leave you with your own petarded selves, perhaps i can suggest you read some old entries and reminisce about our blog friendship. as they say for must-see tv, "if you haven't seen it, it's new to you!"

have a great weekend, buddies.

Fraud

i am an identity theft victim. some a-hole got my ss# and started a radio shack citi card with my almost-address, almost-name, almost-bday. of course, i knew nothing of this said card (started in march) until a collection agency rep tracked me down yesterday night to tell me that i owe over $1k on this phantom card.

and to take care of this problem, i've thus far had to speak to:
- scott, the collection agency dude
- caroline, the radio shack card customer service rep
- tony, the citi cards customer service rep
- janet, the radio shack fraud specialist
- shannon, my assigned citi identity theft agent
- lori from Transunion credit agency
- front desk lady of the gtown police department
- ftc voicemail system

seriously, this took all morning, and i am quite aggrevated at this above mentioned a-hole. i have no idea who you are, but i swear to my favorite dwarf planet pluto that i, saNjin, is coming after you.

Fobby Etymology

in my senior year in high school, i had dr. detlaff for my english teacher. she was this ridiculously proper old lady who spoke in the most perfect english...and kept her class completely silent and attentive. for a nice old granny, she had us totally controlled -- none of us dared to crack jokes or josh around in her class.

anyhoo, during that year, we read hamlet. one day, we were supposed to have read some passage for homework...blah blah. well, obviously, i hadn't. so to make sure i don't get called out, i was furiously reading ahead during class when i came to this passage:

...hoist with his own petard...

and oh man, i just could not hold it together. PEE-tard! how funny was that? i poked che-che, who sat next to me, and whispered, "look! PEEE-tard. hahahahahaha. you are a PEEE-tard." (i was very mature.) i proceeded to turn to everyone around me to call them a petard...and slowly the word was spreading through rest of the classroom.

then, dr. d arrived at the passage. she read (in her very serious tone), "hoist with his own peh-TARRRRD"...and the class just busted up. a peh-tard!!?! not peee-tard!!?!?! i don't buy it, dr. d.

thus, my revised dictionary entry, fob edition:

petard. n. 1) medival small bomb to blow up gates and walls. 2) trap. 3) one class above retard.

also can be petarded. adj. e.g. "sauj's blog is petarded." petardedly. adv. e.g. "sauj often acts petardedly."

Amigas

while going through pictures on my camera (to get the car wash one), i came across one from hazzy's bday last month. i felt like sharing a normal picture of my friends for once. has and kat will shoot me cause they hate their pictures on the net, but unfortunately for them, they can't pull a brett* on me and ask me to delete pictures from my blog. it's cause I rule this little universe. (have you HEARD of the yi dynasty???)

sorry for lack of humor / pizazz / mojo today. i lost it at the car wash.



*sorry for the inside joke. i hate when people do that too.

Get Yo Cah Washed

if you happen to drive by jefferson & overland, may i suggest a five-minute detour to get your car washed? for only six buckaroos on tuesdays, you can go through one of those automatic drive-through washes where two dudes to soap down your vehicle and then you sit through a two-minute conveyor belt ride in your car. it's like a little amusement park ride! or not.

but it did sorta spook me that i couldn't see out the window...and had to look down and google talk my friends on the crackberry.

Oh

everything comes full circle. this is my last internship week, and today, i ran into my elevator song / humming guy from early summer. on an awkward elevator ride up, i asked him, "so why do they cover up the elevator at times like this?" he said, "so people can have a little mosh pit without getting hurt." random answer, but i thought it was cute. i told him it was my last week here and he said, "oh." all i get is an "oh"??? how about "good luck"? or "cool"?

disappointed in the random dude, i decided to look up some pga hotties on the 'net. yes, i said p-g-a. check 'em out. mike weir and adam scott are pretty h-o-t.



oh, ringtone decision = pink panther. dum. do dum. duhdumduhdumduhdumduhdum duhhhhhhhh dummmmm. dododododum. (c'mon, you can hear it, i know you can.)

Perfect Sunday Night Task

i just logged onto t-mobile to download a new ringtone. i figured a new phone warrants a new tone, even though i kinda miss my super marios theme song.

and don't worry, steph, i learned my lesson with my old "zippideedoodah" ring when you openly expressed your wishes to destroy my phone. and me. so no more songs that would belong in the same category as "it's a small world"...

but as i look through my options (everything from "my humps" to "chariots of fire"), is it weird that i want to download "god bless america"?

Nerds R Us

to close out this lovely workweek, i wanted to remind you that your friend sauj is a big nerd.

at lunch today, i went over to the t-mobile store, thinking about upgrading my current phone. i debated with the saleslady...another samsung (to support my korean peeps)? a razr? ugh, but EVERYBODY has one now...f that. how about the sidekick 3 like snoop and paris hilton?

and as the conversation dragged on, i found myself with the blackberry 8700g in hand. NO! i don't know came over me. i've been so good w/o a bb for a whole year! but then, i really hadn't bought a new electronic gadget since last year...so i was due.

as i told sara - "sauj: electronics :: lindy : makeup"

i came back and showed the new bb to the assistant lady. told her that i gave in to my inner dork. she said, "just think, it's so dorky, that it's cool." kinda why coyote ugly is a good movie.

but of course, i couldn't just be a dork by myself. i had to email aisha, fellow ex-banker friend turned mba student who also couldn't live without her bb.

her words: "i totally approve of the banker nerd bb."

i feel better. misery loves company and so does uber geekiness. happy weekend all.

Scwabble

back in our hs days, steph, kat, and i used to play a lot of scrabble (along with pictionary and boggle). and we'd always get in an argument with kathy because she'd bust out words that weren't really words and argue forever about how they were in fact words (that really sucked as a sentence, but you know what i meant).

her methodology was to put short words on top of other words already on the board. for example, LIMECART. and WAYVOGUE.

and to make her point, she would use them in sentences for us, "that shirt is wayVOOOOOGuE" or "put that lime in the liiiiimecart." i mean, really. because of her, we had to switch to "ebonics scrabble" where you can spell and make up words as you please. for example, BEEMAH. and get killed on triple word points like FAXIZ.

anyhoo, the other day, i remembered something and emailed kat and steph: "you know how i kept saying there was a word that started it all? you know what it was? DUALPOWER!!!"

...and after 10 years, this is what kat writes back:

"GO DUALPOWER! i still think it's a word. Dualpower used in a sentence: the DUALPOWER of the chili and the cheese made the fries exceptionally tasty."

sigh.

Xmas in August

last night, i was at the local korean grocery store, hankook market, and gathered evidence for my upcoming phd thesis, "koreans aren't lazy. they are efficient." why take down your xmas decorations when you have to put it all up again the year after?


(if you can't tell, this is a camera phone pix of the produce aisle)

but then again, mama yi would disagree with me. exchange with her when i was little:

me: "why do i have to clean my room when it will get dirty again?"
mama yi: "why do you eat when you will get hungry again? should i not make you dinner?"

obviously, i got the point. a way to saujin's heart is through her stomach. and the way to her brain.

on a side note, i just yelped because a window washer glided down spidey-style outside my office window. he had a stupid grin on his face. he obviously enjoys this part of his job.

Upgrade

why do strangers feel the necessity to talk to me? i'm not even talking about the awkward elevator chitchat or the convos with security guards, etc. not even counting the verbose santa monica homeless people, four, and i really mean FOUR, people talked to me on my recent three block walk to the mall and back.

1. random foreign guy in the mongolian beef line: "they tell you not to squish the meat into the bowl, but i do it anyway."
2. blond lady coming out of mall: "that's a great jacket, where did you get it?" (i couldn't remember.)
3. indian lady on the promenade: "do you know which way wilshire is?" (mind you, there were like 10 people around me...she zoomed in on me. reminded me of the spain incident last year: http://saujpauj.blogspot.com/2005/08/sign-language.html)
4. some punk dude in front of rei asking me if i had a light. and no, i wasn't smoking...i was just walking by.

per these incidents, i feel i can put "friendly" and "approachable" on my pros list a la www.settleforbrian.com (thanks yuj and kevin & bean). quite a funny guy, this brian.

i am inspired. thinking about starting a website called www.upgradeforfob.com.

Like Free Throws

one of my old work buddies, debbie, recently wrote a mass email to announce the end of her peace corps stint in paraguay. in receiving this email, my other friend (who wanted to remain anonymous...her name ends with "-ora" and starts with an "n") and i were discussing how fast time has swooooped by since deb left. anonymous friend and i reminisced about our banking days, how we missed her, etc. etc. and immediately jumped into stupid girl talk: "do you think she's changed a lot?" and "i wonder how she looks now"...

then, we both catch ourselves being uber stupid. to quote her: "ohmigosh. she's angelina jolie and we're the hilton sisters. she's saving the world and we're designing purses. we suck."

so we stopped talking. and thus, i had to resort to web boggle again for entertainment. but somehow, i seem to have misplaced my skillz. maybe my brain only processes 1-point words in the summer. sit. bit. lit. mit. 1, 1, 1, 1. darn. 1.

happy hump day.

Classes. And Not for School

the lil sis made an observation on her blog that "stupid people marry stupid people," which triggered some thoughts for me.

i had this theory back in college that there were three types of people in the world - class A, B, and C.

class A = people were the hotties, who had it all (think celebrities)
class B = included most people (think mean of normal curve)
class C = the weirdos (e.g. the "stupid people" or better yet, for you mit peeps, think east campus)

the class A and C people seemed to find their mates within their own class, but B people...they were struggling. my theory was that the B people were delusional, thinking that they were class A, and reaching beyond their own class....and failing. these B people looked at other B's and thought, "oh, they're SO below me." and by being too busy looking up one class, they had a hard time finding their actual suitable "classmate"...oh so sad.

along these lines, i was another thought. when i bought my durango 1.5 years ago, i suddenly started to notice all the other durangos on the road. people in the same car would often pass by me and give me "hey durango twin buddy!" wave-slash-head nod. i mean, i would still notice all the badass convertibles or vintage vehicles on the road, but it wasn't the same when another durango passed me. so...what does that all mean? stupid people marry stupid people because they only really notice other stupid people and feel the need to say what's up. and vice versa for non-stupid people.

deep, eh? well, maybe not.

anyhoo, i hope i find my car buddy someday, but as i wait, i want to congratulate a few of my friends who recently got engaged. i definitely think it was a porsche meets porsche story. :)

Garfield Knows

jon = me and my blog.

Sign Spinners

what's up with the increasing number of sign spinners lately? these "spinners" are these dudes (haven't seen any girls...hmm) advertising new condos or restaurants or whatnot...holding and spinnning these arrow-shaped signs on street corners. and geez, some of these kids are quite talented. i mean, if you gave these guys tight, sequined unitards and flaming batons, they would definitely kick cheryl frasier's (miss rhode island / majorette) ass on miss congenality. they are that good!

on another note, i did something totally ocd last night. i was washing my dishes and realized that i only really use the top few plates (i don't like to have my dishes pile up and try to wash right away). i felt like i was neglecting all the plates below the top few...i mean, i was denying them serving their purpose to the world. so i rotated the pile, stared at my work, and felt totally retarded...then went to do the same thing with my socks in my sock drawer.

Woah-Man

there's an article in the economist this week regarding the difference between sexes. the studies show that the brains of the sexes are wired differently...blah blah blah...

"another proposal to explain the lack of women professors of maths and sciences is that even if there is little or no difference in average ability, there might be differences in the variation around this average, with more men found in the tails of the distribution curve and fewer in the middle. in other words, among males there are more idiots and more prodigies."

to my guy buddies, which category do you think you fall in? well, you're wrong. hehe.

have a great weekend, buddies...

*i posted again cause afty think tina's request was bs.

Afternoon Lull

come 3 pm-ish everyday, someone in the office comes by and says, "if i make coffee, will you have some?" and duh, my answer is usually yes. but to keep things real, i try to mix up my responses.

holla!
booooyah.
word.
surely shirley.
...

just now, unknowingly, i responded "score!" i mean, who does that post early 1990's? maybe i'm subsconsciously retro-fabulous and getting ready to bring wayne's world terminology back. swiiiing.

*per tina's comment regarding the over-saturated blogging frequency, yours truly will attempt to cut back down. sauj only exists to serve her customers. and friends.

Almost Friday Dumb Thoughts

fyi. ingrediants in the beef jerky i am currently consuming includes:

- beef (oh good)
- brown sugar
- water
- salt
- vinegar
- ground black pepper
- garlic powder
and
- papaya juice

who knew?

oh, all the scary stuff from this morning's news about heathrow and terrorists has sparked many interviews from all sorts of experts. the one that caught my attention is an expert in "asymmetric threat studies at the swedish national defence college in stockholm". whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? is there an expert in "symmetric threat studies" as well?

i don't want to hear it. i know that was dumb.

Letter to My BFF

dear beef jerky,

thank you for existing, oh so dependable friend of mine. i know we don't talk nearly enough, but in emergency situations of "sudden hunger," you have been and are always there for me. i know i can always turn to you for help. you're not flashy, you're not sexy (not everyone can be a ritz cracker)...but in the words of christina aguilera, you are beautiful no matter what they say.

i heart you, my steak-to-go.

your friend,
sauj

Gangsta Deep Thoughts

this morning on the radio, a reporter was talking about the decreasing crime rate in compton, a scary LA city that has 57 gangs with about 8,000 members. the report interviewed the police, local residents, etc. to get their opinions on what they thought was the reason for the decline in crime. my favorite one with a local:

question: "why do you think the number of drive-bys have gone down? do you think the police department is doing a better job?"
answer: "no way. it's the gas prices, man. with no gas, you ain't doing no drive-by."

Beep!

just now, billy wrote me an email that says blah blah blah and then "gotta take a mandatory rest break now...or the computer will beep and yell at me." he's serious! the company he's interning this summer forces breaks away from the computer.

i think that's a great idea. we shouldn't get so caught up in something for hours and hours...not good for your health.

so, what would that be for me then? take mandatory breaks from IMing? from all the alt-tabbing? oh, i got it. the computer should beep at me every hour to do some freakin' work and take a break from all the putzing around.

beep! yeah yeah.

Smells...Like...

on a warm summer workday, two things happen: 1) my office is way colder than usual (i'm looking for maintanence man hector to sos come rescuuuuue me) and 2) the elevator stinks like some g-nasty b.o. so, it's a catch 22, you see. i don't want to stay in the office and become a little popicle stick nor do i want to bear the one-minute elevator ride to go outside and thaw...the ride just makes me totally lose my appetite. even for my little bentos.

so, what do i do? i walk around the office, shoot the shit with peeps. i hear about one guy's pursuit of a music career (i told him i believe he'll make it big one day). i hear about a gal's trip to the farmer's market (i empathized about the decreasing size of avocados these days). then, the assistant lady gives me a gem that distracts me for a good 10 minutes - the uber detailed company retreat schedule.

the company that i'm with this summer is going on a three-day retreat to some lake in the moutains. the company = the partners plus associates less summer intern (me). since i'm officially done with my summer internship in less than three weeks, it definitely is a good call on their part not to waste any bonding dough on me.

but this retreat is awesome. filled with massages, biking, fishing, etc., i feel like it would be a trip i would've really enjoyed. there's even a slot of "campfire w/ smores" and "wine and cheese boat cruise"...even "cocktails on the patio"!!! i mean, bonding over smores with 10 white men...sounds like the perfect getaway to me. just kidding.

i'm jealous yet i'm excited about being left alone for three whole days. i'll have plenty of time for me to go outside and thaw on third street restaurant patios. and for that, i will even deal with the smelly 'vators. anybody wanna come play in SM in the next few days?

Fly With Me

you would think after a whole weekend, i'd have SOME fun material with which to entertain you. but alas, you be wrong. i went to pinnacle peak, a steak restaurant in san dimas, for the first time in a while. the place occupies an "large person" to normal-sized person ratio of about 2:1. there's nothing like a steakhouse in the inland empire to make you feel small, fit, and agile.

speaking of restaurants, elissa is calling around for reservations for orientation section dinners right now. she just called hard rock at universal and they answered the phone, "how can i rock your world?"

i think i need to spice up my phone greeting. any suggestions? i was thinking of going with, "this is saujin, the wind beneath your wings."

Last Words for the Week

while i was writing the last entry, some building dude came in screaming in his walkie talkie, "10-4!". i said, "dude, what's 10-4 really mean?" he said, "haha, look it up"

according to urban dictionary, it either means, "acknowledgement of a statement" or "a big ass ugly lady."

speaking of...why is there a silent "b" in words like "bomb" or "dumb"??? is it always silent? i think i'm going to bring the b out of its shell. from now on phrases from my mouth will include:
"you are getting dum-BER" or "what ever happened to the uni-bom-BER?"

i'm a trend setter. a trailblazer. watch it.

Veggies Do Your Body Good

when afty IMs me, his first line has always been, "eat more rutebegas!!!"

i asked him recently to change it up...and now he's busted out "eat more carrots!!!" or "eat more lettuce!!!" etc. i told him that he's going to run out of veggies soon and his challenge was to not repeat. he said, "no problem, there are a million vegetables out there"...

then i wondered. so with the help of katie's google / wikipedia / counting skills, we have landed the following:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vegetables

according to katie: "178, give or take 2." sorry afty.

"eat more elephant garlic!!!"

Result: Still Not Funny (But Let Me Be)

still bored and ran across an email from my good friend misty, stuck in bumblepoop, new mexico....engineering something like a good little nerd that she is. we were talking about her and willets' men and how they're kinda old (mid 30's / early 40's).

misty's deep thought: "i recommend the old men....better in bed generally. :)"

maybe it's time to revive the bar nights in ireland last year...when nora dubbed me, "anna nicole yi."

(...for talking to old dudes...only talking! rrrrrr)

Vocab Lesson for Moi

lil sis writes me today to tell me how her "soul is dying" and her "spirits are down" due to her crazy work. i know in "religious" settings, a total person is described by their body, soul (mind), and spirit...but i wanted to be clear on the definitions so i looked it up:

soul = the immaterial part of a person; the actuating cause of an individual life
spirit = the vital principle or animating force within living things

so i guess yuj is much smarter than me. i would've just said, "me = no likey work."

oh, this reminds me of the S-A-R structure that Anderson has taught us to use in our resumes. so basically, every bullet to describe what you did at your old jobs is supposed to show i) situation; ii) action, and iii) result. so let me boil down this blog entry for you.

S - i'm bored and wanted to blog but had nothing interesting to say
A - i just looked at the top thing on my desktop, which was baby yi's messages and tried to write about it
R - this entry...totally random, not funny, semi-serious (totally un-sauj-like). and what sucks the most = i'm still bored.

dang it.

LA Story

i just went outside to grab a turkey wrap and smoothie for lunch. in front of the building, while i was staring at a homeless guy harrass a bunch of teenage girls in their little colorful bikinis, i almost got run over by a guy in his swimming trucks and flip flops...with a yoga mat on his back...riding his bike equipped with a surfboard and rack...talking on his cellphone.

go LA! yuj, come back already.

Still Amazed...

the poem still has me in disbelief...how bored i must have been to write such a brilliantly retarded piece of literary work.

in any case, a few of you have mentioned your favorite natural phenomenon so i thought i'd share before i forget.

- waterfall
- grand canyon
- tornado
- tsunami
- me

tee hee. flirt flirt. just kidding...that last one is from papa yi.

ESL Excuse

it always makes me laugh when my friends tell me things i used to do back in the day. hazzy saved and dug up a poem i wrote her in high school, and i must say, my poetic skills needed a little help before i was at par with my homeboy shakespeare.

I am Hasmik and I think I am cool
Because I always study 9 hrs afterschool
Calculus and Bio always excites me
But dang Alejandra won't let me be
Bio questions are the best
But IDs definitely beat the rest
I think I know how to breathe in and out
I can be a fob without a doubt
I will die if I don't watch melrose
Maybe because I am a boz
I love Phoebe on Friends-she rocks
I am glad her smelly cat won't hit me with a sock
I can beat anyone since I can bowl
I hate Republicans especially Dole
I can't ever pass the Literacy test
Finished that would leave me stressed
I am glad I got no zits
If I met Brad Pitt, having them would be the pits
Julia Roberts is the bomb
No one better mess with my mom
I love Calc because Saujin is there
But her dang songs I can't stand to bear!!

yes, there's a lot of inside jokes in this thang, but wtf. was i in kindergarten? and who is this alejandra? i think i have an early form of "all-timers." i think i need to go get some "napoleon" ice cream.

give me an E, E!
give me an S, S!
give me an L, L!
what's that spell? sauj.