Bladder Situation

on my way home from school today (where everyone looked like zombies after last night's 4-hour open bar halloween party), i stopped at the brewco to hang with jenn and have a beer. then, i realized that i had to get home for dinner with the parental units, so even though i sorta had to pee, i decided to dash to the car and get on my way home.

about 10 minutes into the drive, i realize, oh man, i REALLY have to pee now. but alas, i'm stuck in friday night traffic. so i decide to phone lil sis to check on her...and distract myself. while talking to her, i decide that there's no way i'm making it all the way home in this traffic and try to get off the freeway. i frantically swerve towards the exit and i finally make it off to find that there is no gas station in sight.

after about what seemed like 100 long mofo blocks, within which i have a little sneezing attack...holy crap, sneezing = not friendly to the full bladder...i reach a chevron. i jump out of the car and run in to find the bathroom door that says, "customers only. please bring your purchases to the cashier." i pick up the first thing i see, a vitamin water, and go to the front, only to be greeted by 10 retarded high school punks dressed up for halloween...and each of them paying for their stupid pack of gum or bag of chips with a credit card!

i finally get to the front of the line to ask for the key, and the cashier claims that someone else is in the bathroom and i must wait. i go to the bathroom and knock furiously and some dude answers, "un momento!" Un momento my ass! he's in there for another like five minutes (by this time, i can't even walk straight) and he FINALLY comes out of the bathroom...with a GNASTY stank behind him. but i bear through...

i literally peed for two straight minutes at a constant high volume flow rate. i felt like i lost 30 pounds. i gave a sheepish grin to the cashier and i bounced from the joint.

i get back in my car and call back my sis to tell her about my pee saga.
me: "i thought i was going to die!"
yuj: "what an obituary that would've been: death from bladder poppage."