Bladder Situation

on my way home from school today (where everyone looked like zombies after last night's 4-hour open bar halloween party), i stopped at the brewco to hang with jenn and have a beer. then, i realized that i had to get home for dinner with the parental units, so even though i sorta had to pee, i decided to dash to the car and get on my way home.

about 10 minutes into the drive, i realize, oh man, i REALLY have to pee now. but alas, i'm stuck in friday night traffic. so i decide to phone lil sis to check on her...and distract myself. while talking to her, i decide that there's no way i'm making it all the way home in this traffic and try to get off the freeway. i frantically swerve towards the exit and i finally make it off to find that there is no gas station in sight.

after about what seemed like 100 long mofo blocks, within which i have a little sneezing attack...holy crap, sneezing = not friendly to the full bladder...i reach a chevron. i jump out of the car and run in to find the bathroom door that says, "customers only. please bring your purchases to the cashier." i pick up the first thing i see, a vitamin water, and go to the front, only to be greeted by 10 retarded high school punks dressed up for halloween...and each of them paying for their stupid pack of gum or bag of chips with a credit card!

i finally get to the front of the line to ask for the key, and the cashier claims that someone else is in the bathroom and i must wait. i go to the bathroom and knock furiously and some dude answers, "un momento!" Un momento my ass! he's in there for another like five minutes (by this time, i can't even walk straight) and he FINALLY comes out of the bathroom...with a GNASTY stank behind him. but i bear through...

i literally peed for two straight minutes at a constant high volume flow rate. i felt like i lost 30 pounds. i gave a sheepish grin to the cashier and i bounced from the joint.

i get back in my car and call back my sis to tell her about my pee saga.
me: "i thought i was going to die!"
yuj: "what an obituary that would've been: death from bladder poppage."

Boo

so, in the middle of rush hour, on santa monica blvd. in hollywood, i drove past (really really slowly, stupid LA traffic!) a totally random hitchhiker. she was a white, semi-heavy lady, probably in her 50's...very neighborly looking person. i hesitated and thought about giving her a ride, but hey, it's almost halloween...i mean, WHAT IF...WHAT IF!

i wanted to be martha stewart for halloween, but i don't think i have enough time to pick up a poncho, a blond wig, or an ankle bracklet this week...darn. oh well, i'll just have to sluttify some other profession.

Thirsty

the blog-entry frequency has dropped some, but it's due to my retardedly busy schedule ever since school started. i mean, classes, homework, group work, etc, takes a crapload of time and then you add things like IM sports, tailgating, wine club, happy hours...well, that's my excuse.

the most notable thing that happened was in my marketing class few days ago. i brought in a dc (diet coke) without a lid. since i sit in the back row, i was dozin' a little...and then totally tipped my full glass over...all over my friend sitting next to me. the ice splattered against the table made such a loud noise (along with the fact my friend was swapping out her wet chair and i sprinted out of the classroom to get some paper towels), the professor stopped his lecture to ask if everything was alright. then right after, i put the cup on the floor (with about a 1/4 of the dc left) and about 10 minutes later, i accidentally kicked it and spilled the rest on the floor.

the running comments thereafter: "sauj, don't worry, you can sit next to me, i brought my umbrella" or "sauj, where's the cap on that water!?!?!?!" or "sauj, you thirsty?"

Sniff

why is sunday night so good on abc? extreme makeover: home edition, dh, and grey's anatomy? that's a power trio. and yes, i cry at extreme makeover...every time.

Jumbo Sauj

i went to the crazy fun ucla-cal game last night. bruins came back to win in this close game and i lost my voice. they had oversold the student section so they pushed the overflow kids down to the rich people's section...and i ended up on the FIRST row at the 40 yard line right behind our players. i guess i made nice with the the cameraman was right in front of us because he put me on the jumbotron three times! i kept getting calls from friends in other parts of the stand: "dude, lookin' good!" oooh yeah.

speaking of looking good, i went to a brazilian bbq place with some friends on friday night. i decided i want to be a samba dancer...they can mooooove.

Conan for President

my first week of real classes has come to an end. THANK GOD. my brain seems to have rusted over and it's really hard for me to do basic things such as...read. sad.

anyhoo, i hope everyone got to watch conan last night. he had u2 on...how is bono still so sexy? my favorite line from conan's intro, "tonight, we have the ireland's pride. i'm talking about me."

oh, so i got made fun because i watch two and a half men. i really think it's one of the funniest sitcoms on tv. steph told me that shannon's dad likes the show too. i'm glad to have a show buddy like papa spoon.

80s Fun

last night, we marked the end of a long and busy two-week orientation with an 80s party. the international kids were pretty confused at the concept (some dressed as the beach boys), but i had a fun time boozin' with this crowd.

which reminds me...this japanese guy is teaching me japanese phrases with the trade that i teach him "better" english. i have thus far taught him very useful words such as yo, dude, man, boozer, smashed, slammed, and tossed. he takes his lessons seriously...he writes this stuff down!

Leadership-Schmeadership

i am exhausted. the first week of my two-week orientation is a 2-unit class called leadership foundations. we have done various activities with our groups, such as ropes' courses, design project simulations, and even improv lessons. i'm all good with these activities, except the lame debriefing after each session, "what have you learned from this activity?" i keep thinking they're just testing my patience. breathe...breathe...1...2...3.

right now, with only one beer in me, i am writing my "leadership map" (a 3-page paper) . this is why i am a good leader, this is why i am a bad leader, this is what i want to work on, and this is how i'm going to do it. good thing i've had this blog to keep my bs writing skills in check.

Fight Fight Fight

i went to my first ucla football game as a student yesterday and had a fantastic time. i saw two undergrads throw up around me and the bruins whooped the #21 ranked oklahoma sooners 41-24. i learned all the ucla cheers, including some impromtu chants created on-the-spot for the sooner fans by the clever student section: "[clap, clap, clap-clap-clap] oooover-raaaated..."

but you know, no cheer will ever compared to the mit fight song: "...cosine, secant, tangent, sine, 3.14159..."

Johnny Roberts

while driving, i was listening to the confirmation hearing for the chief justice candidate john roberts today on npr. i guess it's understandable, but it was the weirdest thing. senator would question him on his opinion of controversial issues, clearly knowing that he wouldn't answer, and then...surprise, he wouldn't answer. i was thinking how great i would be as a senator on that committee.

"judge roberts, i know you can't really answer this, but the american public really needs to know. who would win on a full-on wrestling match? martha vs. the donald? dr. phil vs. geraldo? billary vs. madonna?"

"yeah, that's what i thought. tsk, tsk. i don't know if i can vote for you, man."

TV Pleasures

the new season of ellen has begun and my lover tivo has done a great job of recording her show. at the beginning of each show, ellen has been pulling audience members up to the stage to dance with her, and i'm quite impressed at the dancing abilities of these older folks. i must say, they are unbelievably nimble. i'm jealous.

another great thing this season is that ellen has been moved to 4 pm so i can tivo the ruler of the free world, oprah, as well now. it's only been a week and i think i've already gone through a box of tissues. dang, she's good.

oh, and i just watched the season finale of tommy lee goes to college. i think i'm the reason that reality shows are still running strong on tv. i apologize to all of you on behalf of my kind.

More Back To School Fun

over the weekend, i attended a "pre-orientation" trip with 15 other incoming students. we went to anapaca island (one of the channel islands) to bond, camp, and kayak. the word ka-yak seemed perfect for the occasion because one camper became pretty seasick and tossed her cookies on the dock. surprisingly, i actually had a great time despite the fact there was no alcohol on the trip. anyhoo, official orientation begins next week and it seems like people are already forming cliques as the "ny crowd" or the "sf crowd" or whatever. i'm not sure if i'm up for this "anderson high school" experience just yet.

on a parallel note, i found one of my mom's t-shirts (from MADD) which says:
front - "did you know..."
back - "...that most glendale high school students have never been drunk before?"

i told my mom that's false advertisement.

Back To School

i went to anderson for the first time today since i decided to be a student there. i forgot how big and pretty the ucla campus was...and that i am a "grad student." it sounds so old! well, at least i now have a "bruin card" for student discounts at movies.

speaking of schools, i went to my mom's classroom (mama yi = high school math teacher) on saturday to help her setup for her new students. she asked me to put up a poster of her classroom rules and here's number 2 and 3:

2) please put away your cd and mp3 players.
3) please turn off your cell phones.

kids these days. i remember when i had to walk barefoot in the snow over the hill to school with only a pager.

Retirement at Age 26

it cost me $67.49 today to fill up my tank on the cheapest grade. my unemployment cannot support such costs of living. therefore, i announce my retirement from driving as of tomorrow. we shall have a retirement party on saturday night and booze up like partying grandmas on the boost mobile commercials. though, someone, please be nice and volunteer to pick me up. thanks.

Technology Hos

i will have a few more pictures soon, but i had to mention something that happened at the yi household today. so i am "temporarily" living at my parents' house, which is a two story place. my cousin lives with us and he occupies a room on the first floor, right below my bedroom. we do not have an intercom system, but since it's a small house, we're gotten really good at yelling, "telephone!" or "dinner!" over the years.

but even the yis have joined the 21st century. so, my cousin picks up a phone call on our house line, which was for me. even though he knew i was in the house, i guess he didn't want to yell, so...he picks up his cellphone to call my cellphone to tell me to pick up the house phone!

later, i applaud my cuz for his genius and lazy move and i guess my dad overheard our conversation. next thing i know, while i'm putzing around in my room, i get a call on my cellphone from my dad on his cellphone: "saujin, come downstairs for dinner."