Fast Lane to Oldness

one of my co-workers is this fun, friendly girl who works in biz dev. i always knew she was young, but yesterday, i've never felt older:

hanna: "i'm planning my bday party, are you going to come?"
me: "fun! are you going to karaoke like we talked about?"
hanna: "no, i can't do karaoke at a bar anymore because i need a place that can accept people underage. some of my friends are not 21 yet."
me: (silence...)
me: (feeling sorry for myself...)
me: (starting to walk away...)
hanna: "hahaha. don't you like them young?"

cougar central baby.

Welcome Party

our offices moved from culver city to playa vista this weekend. today i went in to set up my desk. interestingly, the office is next to home depot. when i drove turned the corner to drive into the office parking, i was chased by several day works (aka friendly mexicans). it probably didn't help that i was driving my truck there on a sunday morning.

now, the question is...will this happen every day to work? will it become a daily routine to wave them off and feel bad that i didn't have a cabinet for them to install or a fridge to haul?

well, i'm going to look at this as a glass-half-full opportunity. i am going to feel popular every day. i'll feel wanted. i'll have my own little greeting party at work.

Where Did Time Go?

i kept thinking how i haven't blogged in a while, but 2 months? where did the time go? wait...i know...tv. between the presidential race, economy plummeting, the world ending...then you got all these fun shows -- weeds finale (oh my!), project runway, entourage, office (how funny was that!), how i met your mother, etc. etc. etc. oh man, it's been b-u-s-y.

wait, i have more! there's also been managing our fantasy football team, updating my statuses (stati? statum? hmm) on facebook, root-root-rooting for the dodgers...see? you can see why i've been slacking.

anyhoo, let's see. to kick off my return to the blogosphere, here are some random exchanges that have taken place in the last few weeks.

hotlanta. in cab.
i was dressed casually (cargo pants, tshirt), heading back to my hotel after a quick meeting.
cabbie: "you are from california, huh?"
me: "yah! how the heck did you know?"
cabbie: "all rich people are from california."


boston. at christina and frank's wedding.
i get in line to congratulate the couple after the ceremony. i hug christina: "congrats!"
then i turn to frank and shake his hand: "it's nice to meet you."


on phone with misty. tonight.
me: "so it was freezing in boston! i mean, it was like 50-60 degrees! i seriously have no idea how i lived there for 4 years."
misty: "you were drunk."
me: "good point."

epilogue

after all that, i just had a very successful seat cover experience. maybe all i needed was to whine about it. yay.

Random and a Half

few random thoughts for you on this lovely friday. tgif!

- few weeks ago, i looked up the origin of the phrase, "steal one's thunder". my guess was that it originated from some greek mythology where one of the gods steals someone's thunder. according to the world wide web, the origin of the phrase is from back in shakespearean days, where devices that produce the sound of thunder included shaking thin metal sheets or rolling metal balls in troughs. one d-list playwright advanced this sound technology with metal balls in wooden bowls. when one theater closed his crappy play but used his sound device for the next play, he said, "damn them! they will not let my play run, but they steal my thunder."

- this thought will only be appreciated by women and it may be a little TMI, but i really have to get it out there. after practice, i master most skills like a good monkey. i approach the problem in different ways and zone in on the best solution. but this! it's frustrating me. it's been 20 weeks at the new gig, and i cannot get the razor thin toilet seat covers to work properly. though they are "generously provided by management," by the time i put down the toilet seat cover and get ready for the toilet-ready position, the seat cover has already crumpled into the water, leaving me with no cover of seat. i have tried to place the cover in different configurations (e.g. patting it down into a more stable position) and even changed the order by unzipping and then placing the cover (which was an uncomfortable sequence), but it's just not ideal. is it too much to ask for that my seat cover stays in place and sails away with the flush without too much work or thought on my part? grr.

- i already put this on my gchat status (thanks, samartini): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36w-CyqCO1A. japanese people are funny. SHINDY ROPAH!

have a fantabulous weekend all.

Divorcing Beantown

i just made it official. after the lakers-celtics emotional roller-coaster ride, i decided that i cannot have any loyalties to boston's sports. i rooted for the red sox. i rooted for the pats. but the thought of these "fellow fans" rooting against my lakers is still bugging me.

so, this morning, in preparation of our country's independence day (i say "our" because i've been de-alienized for 7 years now!), i proclaimed my sole allegiance to LA sports on the most american platform of 2008 -- i deleted myself from boston fan pages on facebook. i even deleted the sports guy link from my blog.

i feel free. freedom!

Engrish

yuj told me she just started a food blog for fun. as i'm reading her first entry (http://huge-bites.blogspot.com/2008/06/prologue.html), i'm like, how the heck is she related to me? i struggle through words, phrase...in general, "engrish". and then there's little sister who can spew out poetic-y (great word) entry like that for fun?

Stupid Email Series: Part 3

this one guy has emailed back on multiple occasions.

actual email #1 (before event x):
Thanks would love to come but SM is far. What do you do what year are you? Are there info on the members in the area?

actual email #2, same guy (before event y):
hi. (1) What's the group like that comes to these?
(2) Is there any website, where we can see pics/background of members?

actual email #2 (after event y):
how was last night? Who was there? Girls? Guys - what's the crowd like?

tina's response (who was coordinating the event):
We had about 30 people and it was a good mix of people. If you're that curious, just come to an event sometime!

tina's desired response:
dude, you're creepy.

epilogue: tina actually ended up meeting him at a later event. and it was confirmatory. he was creepy.

Stupid Email Series: Part 2

actual email:

I'm interested in attending the annual meeting, but had a question on the brunch choices. Would you know what the vegetarian choice is? More specifically, does it contain nuts or beans? I have several food allergies and can't eat the two egg choices due to an egg white allergy, but the allergy to nuts and their oils, extracts, etc. is life threatening.

my response:

Thanks for emailing. The veggie option is the Healthy Start (Sliced bananas, seasonal berries, cottage cheese, granola, hot oat meal with raisins). I'm assuming the granola part won't work, right? If it's not mixed in, will that work for you?

her response:

You're right about the granola. If it's not on the plate or if it's in a separate bowl that will be fine. I need it not to have come in contact with the other ingredients. Is that doable? Also allergic to stawberries, so if they can be eliminated from the seasonal berries, that would be great. It's not life threatening, so it's O.K. if that can't be done and they are on the plate.

from the event coordinator:
I cannot guarantee the granola will not come in contact with the plate or in cereal, strawberries not a problem if we omit, but will have to be from all plates. I can offer toast and cold cereal from a box or yogurt with fruit, no strawberries.

her response:
How about the yogurt (as long as it doesn't have artificial sweetners (aspartame, splenda, etc.) and fruit option? Bagel with cream cheese works too - even better with smoked salmon!

from the event coordinator:
We have fruit and yogurt, and bagel and cream cheese, no smoked salmon

her response:
That works fine! Thanks for all your help on this.


my desired response to every email:
Please BYOB (bring your own brunch).

Stupid Email Series: Part 1

i'm planning the annual meeting for our socal alum nerd club. i'm really not sure how i got roped into being volunteer extraordinaire, but here i am. rizzy once told me that there are two types of people in the world: rich people and volunteers. i hope to be a rich person one day. or really soon.

so this annual meeting used to be a dinner at a local hotel. old and very cute grandpa alums would gather at the event in their little red jackets and reminisce the old times. but in order to change things up a little and make the event cheaper (and therefore making it more inviting to the younger alums), i planned this year's event at a local golf course and advertised it as a champagne brunch. the one thing i hadn't counted on was all the random emails that i would get. and you know my patience with stupid emails. enjoy the new stupid email blog entries. i'll add them as i get them throughout my volunteer term.

Actual email 1:
I bought 2 tickets for the MIT Brunch next Saturday. I suggest returning to the dinner format in future years. A brunch wastes the entire day. I will have to give up my regular tennis game Saturday in order to attend. I don't want to do that again.

My actual response:
Thanks for your input and for signing up for the brunch. We will definitely keep your suggestion in mind.

My desired response:
Gasp! Not your tennis game! Do you need us to wipe your ass for you after you poop too?

Random Dude

i was just looking through pictures....saw this and had to share. he wants to be our friend.

Schappy

last weekend, i saw the sex and the city movie with the girlies. as expected, the theater was filled with 98% women, 1.9% gay men, and 0.1% men (aka basel, nk's bf; his comment - "if a man tells you he doesn't want to see a show that has 4 women having lots of sex, he's lying"). anyhoo, the movie was as expected, fun clothes, screeching girls, and a happy ending for all.

on monday morning, when i got into the office, one girl asked me what i did for the weekend. after i told her i had an estrogen-filled weekend, she replied, "i wouldn't pin you as a sex and the city type of girl." hmm.

on tuesday lunch, one guy who sits near me said, "i have to tell you, i'm so disappointed in you." i'm like, "why?" and he says, "you totally started the sex and the city conversation with all the girls yesterday. and i thought you had our back."

so i'm on my 5th day of my 13th week at work (not that i'm counting). despite the truth, i guess i don't give off the sappiest retard on earth impression to my co-workers. they'll never know that i teared up when miranda and steve met on the bridge. then again, i totally teared up when the lakers couldn't make a shot in the 4th quarter and lost game 1 last night. i'm sure the boys would understand that. sniff.

Blue Jar, Not Fish

after 12 years, college friend heidi and her equally genius man haiwei finally tied the knot. i got my butt up to san jose to see them and hang with the mccormick crowd i hadn't kept up with in a while. it was great to see everyone and learn that i am officially the most delinquent person of the group. everybody was either a doctor, an engineer lead, a millionaire, a mother, a father, or all of the above.

before i continue, here's the lovely couple.














my favorite part of the wedding, besides the friends and the endless chinese food at the reception, was during the ceremony. the officiant had haiwei and heidi pour their respective jars of sand into one larger jar. the message was that by marriage they are as hard to separate as the collective grains of sand. his jar was of white sand and hers of blue.

so, when they started to pour the sand very slowly into the main jar, it didn't take long for one of us to start the chain of laughter. the combined jar of sand did not turn "light blue" -- it just remained the same blue from heidi's jar. when the officiant held up the combined jar, crystal and i started whispering things like, "heidi dominates!" or "heidi wins!" really, at this point, they shouldn't fast-forwarded the ceremony to the kiss.

Win

i was telling crystal few weeks ago about my friend mark who named his new baby daughter story.

i said to crystal, "...and he named her story as in...like...a stoooory."
she responded, "ooooooh!" and then pause.
few seconds later, she exclaimed, "wait a minute, do you realize what you just said? that was the worst explanation ever!"
i yelled back, "but you understood me!"
she had no comeback.
thus, i won. happy sauj.

btw, i heard kevin and bean quote someone this morning. they said that there be booming business for cat-sitters this friday when sex and the city is released. HAHA

Hiding Go

since we sit out in the open at work, one does not have any privacy in conversations. normally at other offices, people jump into open conference rooms to have their "oh baby i miss you" or "yes, i can come into interview with you tomorrow" convos. unfortunately, i work at a rapidly growing company where our 3 conference rooms are always occupied with employees doing real work. so, what do people do?

well, it's like playing hide and seek (which i always thought was calling "hiding go seek"...which is obviously stupidly fobby). i got a personal call at work last week. so i jumped out of my seat, put my friend on hold, and proceeded to walk out towards the lobby. someone was there on his cellie. so i walked outside to the smoking area. there were 2 smokers chillin' and 1 other person on his cell. so i walked in the warehouse to hide within our inventory (and grinning cause i thought this was so genius) but spotted another person on his cell between the shelves. beaten down, i walked in the back door where i heard another girl sitting on a staircase -- "sure grandma," she said. i gave up, hung up, walked back to my desk, and proceeded to IM for a really long time with my friend who originally called me.

now you wonder why i have such an IM addiction. i blame work.

301st Post

so, willets is right. my 300th post should have been a tribute to the humble origins of this blog. it's been just over 3 years since i had my quarterlife crisis, quit my job, moved out of my flooded venice beach apartment, and started to write my trivial random thoughts to the world wide web. i clicked on few entries to jive my memory of what has gone on in my life for the past few years. here's my quick recap...

input: lazy, out-of-shape, confused, fobby girl in search of a new career, love, life...going through a quarter-life crisis

process: kills 3 fish, 1 liver, few jokes, many brain cells, 1 startup idea, internet space for 300 blog posts

output: lazy, out-of-shape, confused, fobby girl in search of a new career, love, life...going through a third-life crisis

hmm, at least there is the new blackberry bold to look forward to: http://www.blackberry.com/blackberrybold/ yay!

Inappropriate

so the blogger tells me that this is my 300th post. yay. i almost feel like i have to give a kobe-eque gay mvp acceptance speech. to all my 3 readers, this goes out to you. i wouldn't be here at my 300th post of meaningless, nonsensical blabber of random thoughts if it wasn't for you. the 300th post is not an individual achievement. i wouldn't be here without you, my team. we're like a family, man. family.

now that deep thought is out of the way, can i tell you how lame i am? i was driving to a quick coffee break the other day when "talk of the nation" was on. i don't particularly care for the topics on this talk show, but i love it when larry mantle has to cut off some "expert" on the phone due to time constraints. it's totally like the oscars but for talk radio -- the music starts to play over the speech, the expert feels pressured and talks faster, larry tries to butt in with "uh...uh"...and finally he cuts the person off and says, "thank you blah blah blah."

anyhoo, i arrived at my destination before larry had a chance to cut anyone off, so i just sat in my truck. after a few minutes, larry pulled through for me and i got a good laugh. with a goofy, satisfied look on my face, i turned to get out of the truck...to see this random, completely sketchy looking dude is staring at me. i'm all weirded out but i have to walk past him, and when i do, he whispers to me in this totally creepy way, "waaaaaaaaaas it gooooood?"

i'm think to myself WTF but it comes out of my mouth as "yes, thanks. very satisfying."

and no, i don't want to know what the dude was thinking. all i know is that i gotta stop talking to strangers...and learn to keep it to myself when larry hits the spot.

Vacuum Thoughts

last friday, the new father's office in culver city opened for lunch for the first time. the culver city crowd was obviously dying for a new lunch option because it was like a hollywood club when we arrived there. the line was super long to get in, the doors opened later than expected, and there was even a dude checking ids at the door (i saw one grandpa really excited to get his id checked...too cute). and then once you got in, it was the usual bs -- no table service, so you had to stand in yet another line to order the food. after two lines and over one hour wait time, we got our $12 burgers. and the verdict? it was almost worth the wait. gotta love carmelized onions and bacon in anything. mmm.

so now, the question is this. would the "let's be frank hotdogs" cart across the street have more or less business?

oh, i just saw a commercial for the new dyson ball vacuum cleaner and completely lost my train of thought. i looked it up: http://www.dyson.com/homepage.asp. $399.99? hmm, i kind of want to test drive it.

Coolers and Hard Hats

i just put away my leftovers for tomorrow's lunch, which reminded me to tell you about my lunch on friday.

my new work is in one of those warehouse-converted-into-office-space locations. the inside setup is very startup-like and cool. i basically sit out in the open with all my co-workers, and when you have meetings at each other's desks, you roll up one of those exercise balls conveniently located around the office. while i enjoy being in a casual, non-corporate type of environment, when it comes to lunch options -- it blows. nothing really is conveniently walkable outside of these warehouses, so we have to drive out to get any sort of food. while it's nice to get out of the office every day, i found that after one month, even the drive to the local in-n-out was getting old.

and as such, on friday morning, i decided to pack myself a little bento box lunch. around noon, after my co-workers ventured off in groups to various lunch destinations, i busted out my cute little lunch sack and IMed katie, the genius with all the answers.

me: "it's nice out and i don't want to eat at my desk, but there are no benches or picnic tables around. where should i eat?"
katie: "duh! your truck! like a tailgate."
me: "that's genius, katie, you really are genius with all the answers."
katie: "construction workers do it all the time. though they always have coolers."

so i ventured outside to my truck, sat on the bed, and started to unravel my lunch sack. then i turned to notice the confused stares of few gardeners nearby, who were eating their lunches underneath the shadows of the one teeny weeny tree in the parking lot. what! have they never seen an asian girl eat her lunch on the back of her truck in the middle of her company's parking lot? hmpf! would they feel better if i had a cooler and a hard hat next to me?

after about 5 minutes, i felt pretty self-conscious and semi-sun-burnt, so i got in the car to drive to a local cafe and to eat my bento in peace.

just fyi, i'll probably just eat my lunch at my desk tomorrow.

Oh Mickey

a week or so ago, i heard that the guy who invented egg mcmuffins died. as a tribute to this herb peterson, a culinary genius of a man by my standards, i decided to up my morning mcdonalds visits to...um...everyday. there's a mickey d's conveniently located around the corner from my new gig -- it's almost like herb consulted big g to made this happen for me.

anyhoo, yesterday morning, i swung by the mc drive thru for my two egg mcmuffins. granted it was like the 7th straight weekday i was there, but after i shouted my "usual" order into the menu speaker display thingy, the girl greeted back, "you're back."

i felt fat and skipped the drive thru today. maybe once a week is enough of a mctribute.