Engrish

yuj told me she just started a food blog for fun. as i'm reading her first entry (http://huge-bites.blogspot.com/2008/06/prologue.html), i'm like, how the heck is she related to me? i struggle through words, phrase...in general, "engrish". and then there's little sister who can spew out poetic-y (great word) entry like that for fun?

Stupid Email Series: Part 3

this one guy has emailed back on multiple occasions.

actual email #1 (before event x):
Thanks would love to come but SM is far. What do you do what year are you? Are there info on the members in the area?

actual email #2, same guy (before event y):
hi. (1) What's the group like that comes to these?
(2) Is there any website, where we can see pics/background of members?

actual email #2 (after event y):
how was last night? Who was there? Girls? Guys - what's the crowd like?

tina's response (who was coordinating the event):
We had about 30 people and it was a good mix of people. If you're that curious, just come to an event sometime!

tina's desired response:
dude, you're creepy.

epilogue: tina actually ended up meeting him at a later event. and it was confirmatory. he was creepy.

Stupid Email Series: Part 2

actual email:

I'm interested in attending the annual meeting, but had a question on the brunch choices. Would you know what the vegetarian choice is? More specifically, does it contain nuts or beans? I have several food allergies and can't eat the two egg choices due to an egg white allergy, but the allergy to nuts and their oils, extracts, etc. is life threatening.

my response:

Thanks for emailing. The veggie option is the Healthy Start (Sliced bananas, seasonal berries, cottage cheese, granola, hot oat meal with raisins). I'm assuming the granola part won't work, right? If it's not mixed in, will that work for you?

her response:

You're right about the granola. If it's not on the plate or if it's in a separate bowl that will be fine. I need it not to have come in contact with the other ingredients. Is that doable? Also allergic to stawberries, so if they can be eliminated from the seasonal berries, that would be great. It's not life threatening, so it's O.K. if that can't be done and they are on the plate.

from the event coordinator:
I cannot guarantee the granola will not come in contact with the plate or in cereal, strawberries not a problem if we omit, but will have to be from all plates. I can offer toast and cold cereal from a box or yogurt with fruit, no strawberries.

her response:
How about the yogurt (as long as it doesn't have artificial sweetners (aspartame, splenda, etc.) and fruit option? Bagel with cream cheese works too - even better with smoked salmon!

from the event coordinator:
We have fruit and yogurt, and bagel and cream cheese, no smoked salmon

her response:
That works fine! Thanks for all your help on this.


my desired response to every email:
Please BYOB (bring your own brunch).

Stupid Email Series: Part 1

i'm planning the annual meeting for our socal alum nerd club. i'm really not sure how i got roped into being volunteer extraordinaire, but here i am. rizzy once told me that there are two types of people in the world: rich people and volunteers. i hope to be a rich person one day. or really soon.

so this annual meeting used to be a dinner at a local hotel. old and very cute grandpa alums would gather at the event in their little red jackets and reminisce the old times. but in order to change things up a little and make the event cheaper (and therefore making it more inviting to the younger alums), i planned this year's event at a local golf course and advertised it as a champagne brunch. the one thing i hadn't counted on was all the random emails that i would get. and you know my patience with stupid emails. enjoy the new stupid email blog entries. i'll add them as i get them throughout my volunteer term.

Actual email 1:
I bought 2 tickets for the MIT Brunch next Saturday. I suggest returning to the dinner format in future years. A brunch wastes the entire day. I will have to give up my regular tennis game Saturday in order to attend. I don't want to do that again.

My actual response:
Thanks for your input and for signing up for the brunch. We will definitely keep your suggestion in mind.

My desired response:
Gasp! Not your tennis game! Do you need us to wipe your ass for you after you poop too?

Random Dude

i was just looking through pictures....saw this and had to share. he wants to be our friend.

Schappy

last weekend, i saw the sex and the city movie with the girlies. as expected, the theater was filled with 98% women, 1.9% gay men, and 0.1% men (aka basel, nk's bf; his comment - "if a man tells you he doesn't want to see a show that has 4 women having lots of sex, he's lying"). anyhoo, the movie was as expected, fun clothes, screeching girls, and a happy ending for all.

on monday morning, when i got into the office, one girl asked me what i did for the weekend. after i told her i had an estrogen-filled weekend, she replied, "i wouldn't pin you as a sex and the city type of girl." hmm.

on tuesday lunch, one guy who sits near me said, "i have to tell you, i'm so disappointed in you." i'm like, "why?" and he says, "you totally started the sex and the city conversation with all the girls yesterday. and i thought you had our back."

so i'm on my 5th day of my 13th week at work (not that i'm counting). despite the truth, i guess i don't give off the sappiest retard on earth impression to my co-workers. they'll never know that i teared up when miranda and steve met on the bridge. then again, i totally teared up when the lakers couldn't make a shot in the 4th quarter and lost game 1 last night. i'm sure the boys would understand that. sniff.