Fishin' on the 16th Hole

i just saw an infomercial for the "instant fisherman" -- a portable, compact fishing pole that you can whip out, unfold, and use in a jiffy. it's weird enough to think that someone would need to bust out a fishing pole in an instant like a jack in the case of a flat-tire emergency. something like: "oh suzie, look at that pond, let me whip out the fisherman and catch you a fish for some roadside sushi."

but if that wasn't weird enough, the infomercial featured all the convenient places to store the handy tool: "...it will fit conveniently into the side pocket of your golf bag!"

A-minus Fan

the soxies just swept. and it's still good the second time around (especially when you still find yourself gasping and yelping at a ellsbury catch in bottom of the ninth inning up 3-0 in the series!).

so, i got questioned this weekend -- "i thought you liked the dodgers?" yeah, you called me out. in the nba, i only love the lakers (and cute players like richard jefferson, core maggette and d-wade). in the nfl, i only love the pats. but in the mlb, i like both the red sox and the dodgers. i justify it as my american league and national league teams -- and really, how likely is it that these two specific teams would meet in the world series in my lifetime?

well, i said that to my skeptical, questioning (a-hole) friend. and he asked, "what if they did. who would you root for?" then, i was torn. that's a toughy, but here it is:
though the heartbreaker of a ball club can't keep any franshiable players on its roster for more than a year, i live in LA. i listened to vin scully on the radio in my youth. and the excitment from dodgers getting into the playoffs in 2004 off of steve finley's grand slam still is unmatched to any red sox moment of this year. yeah, if i HAD to choose, i think i would have to bleed blue. but really, i hate you, skeptical friend, for making me feel like a bad fan. but for now...

go sox! and yankees suck.

Droopy

gosh. as i'm cruising for articles on the red sox's game 7 win (yay!), i come across an article about seattle's super duper sonic rookie kevin durant: "...durant realized a dream Saturday night when he was on the same court as his boyhood idol, tracy mcgrady."

boyhood idol? holy crap, we're getting old. sleepy-eyed, straight-out-of-high-school, born-the-same-year-as-me, could-be-cute-if-his-eyes-were-level tracy mcgrady is some nba star's boyhood idol? oh man oh man.

and yes i watched the entire red sox game tonight and no i'm not sure why i feel the need to look up articles of a game i watched in its entirety 30 minutes after it finished. but what else am i going to do? i'm not drunk. i already applied foot cream. hmm, maybe i should go check out the level of my small, sleepy, asian eyes....if i can see them. ha! i crack me up.

Da TeeVee

few days ago, i decided to indulge myself on some television the 2007 way -- via the internet. due to the shotty dsl in the ktown house, cbs and nbc's internet players were out (office, chuck, and how i met my mother will have to wait). but fox and abc's players worked quite well -- so i caught up on the simpsons, back to you, grey's, private practice, ugly betty, etc.

okay, granted that i have questionable taste in tv shows at times (i know you just said, back to you? are you 50? and yes, i used to like two and a half men at some point LONG ago in my life (okay, last year, you biatches)) but this one new show totally caught my eye. i heard some reviews about pushing daisies before, but didn't really quite understand the premise. i think you just have to watch it -- it's witty and funny...kinda the royal tennebaums humor. anyhoo, it's on abc's website...if you're bored, it's just one quick rec from your professional boredom curer friend. and no, it's not anything like two and a half men! sheesh. stop giving me a hard time about it!

Classic Me

i was reminded to tell my stupid story from last weekend in btown.

act 1 - during dinner with tina on friday
me: "hello?"
someone (a girl): "hey sauj! this is [muffled blah-blah]."
me: "who is this again?"
someone: "this is [muffled two syllable name]. don't tell me you don't know who this is!"
me (feeling weirdly pressured): "OOOOOH, hey! how are you?"
someone: "what are you up to?"
me: "we're gonna go hit up roads for old times sake tonight."
someone: "hahaha!"
me: "i know i know. what are you doing tomorrow?"
someone: "we're going to sanctuary at 10. come!"
me: "okay, i'll ask the girls and hopefully we'll join you!"...pause (thinking on my feet)..."oh, you wanna give me a buzz before you leave tomorrow?"
someone: "okay! cool. see ya tomorrow!"

tina: "who was that?"
me: "i have no idea."

act 1.1 through act 1.9 - all night and all morning the next day
me: "crap, who was that?"

act 2 - back at hotel room before dinner next day
me: "dang it, i still have no idea who that was. can someone just call the number and tell me who answers on the voicemail???"
others: "you're so stupid."
me: "tina, c'mon! call from the hotel phone so i don't feel stupid."
tina: "fine!"...dials...someone picks up....tina hangs up. "nice, i just crank called one of your friends."
jenn: "you are so stupid! what's the number. i'll look it up on the internet."...."okay, it says it's a wireless number. c'mon, who did you tell you were going to be in boston?"
me: "amy...neeli...christina...i already talked to all of them."
jenn: "you suck."

act 2.5 - 5 minutes later.
me: "ohhhh! jyoti! i told her!"
jenn: "okay, i'll look her up on the alum page"...(her picture and her cellie pop up)..."there you go! you really are stupid."

act 3 - 2 minutes later.
my nonchalant text to jyoti: "hey stinky. you still going out tonight?"
jyoti's text reply: "who is this?"

of course, i proceeded to give her a hard time about not remembering.

Cougar Rebuttal

sorry, i'm mistaken. tina says we can't be cougars unless 1) we're divorced or 2) over 40.

the world wide web defines "cougar" as
"a middle-aged (or above) woman, dressed to the nines, out on the prowl looking for young (20-35 year old) men"

...so relatively, aren't we cougars to these little college boys? haha. okay okay, sorry for the shot in confidence.

we are hot. the end.

Cougars

our weekend trip to beantown was fabulous. i hadn't been back to boston in almost six years, so i spent most of the weekend saying, "awwww, remember when..." it turns out most of the "..."s were drunken stories, which made me wonder if i did any learning at the masschusetts institute of technology.

anyhoo, one of the highlights of the weekend (besides jenn and katie confronting the logan bomb scare-slash-"it's just art" girl from few weeks ago as well as red sox clinching the division title) was when we were walking past fraternity row and saw the sigma chi house. we had spent many a nights at the basement bar of this house. upon a chorus of awww's, jenn decided we had to say hi to the bar. so she rings the doorbell, gets some dude to answer, and says, "hi. we used to hang out here. can you give us a drink?" (classy points. ding ding ding!)

and that's how we ended up at the basement, drinking busch light (see picture below). but unlike our experience 10 years ago, no guy at the house really wanted to pay attention to us. and it wasn't because we weren't wearing low-cut shirts or that we didn't exude "the sexy." my conclusion is that we had become the unthinkable...we had become cougars.

Efficient and a Half

just now upon arriving at lax from boston, the ground crew announced the connection gates:
"...for those connecting to jfk (new york), please proceed to gate xx..."

wtf. yes, I would like to book a trip to san fran via paris please.

more about beantown trip post-zzzzz's.
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